Saturday, May 23, 2009

Emotional Overload

Brianna. What is there to say that hasn't already been said by fifty other teary eyed people? I know that I can say this much; I was sad to have lost a friend. I was sad I didn't stay closer if for no other reason than maybe I could've helped, could've said something.

But most of all I am suddenly terribly aware of how real death is. How unexpectedly it can rip through a family like a tornado. I just sat there staring at my sisters thinking "Not you. Never you. I couldn't function without you." And being a mom I thought "Not my babies. That can't happem to MY precious sweet little babies because I couldn't be that strong mom who has to comfort the other crying people."

I know I can't stop death. I know that it's going to come at any time and we rarely have a chance to stop it or even slow it down. But I know that from now on, nobody close to me will be taken by something that could be prevented without me attepting to help. There's just no reason for it. Sometimes you just need a little help or someone to just listen even. So I'm here. I'll listen. I'll help. Because I LOVE YOU!

Inhale. . . . . . . Exhale. . . . . .

On the opposite side of the emotional spectrum. . . . .

Richard and I decided that in November (when his lease is up) we would like to get an apartment together. This is a big step but I'm ready and very very happy. So between now and then I have a few goals to take care of. I need to refile and finalize the divorce. I need to file for bankruptcy and get my behind in gear to be financially free and on the way to wealthy. I need to pay my dad for being a million times cooler than DNA requires and fixing my car/ saving my life. And save for the deposit on the new place!


Christy said...

So sad and you can't help but think about being in the shoes of the mom or a sister... I just can't imagine the hurt that goes along with losing a close family member... I'm thankful for that.

That's quite the laundry list... better hope the wind is at your back and bust it girlie, like we know you can!

Heatherslife said...

congrats! We can do it together! will have to help you scope out places when the time comes!